Same-sex Attracted Writer discusses unanswered prayers

Hey everyone. I found an article this morning that I thought was worth sharing from Matt Barber’s website “BarbWire” titled, “For Years I Pleaded With God to Make Me Straight. Why Did My Prayers Go Unanswered?” Let me preview the article for you.

The author, Matt Moore, begins his story,

I knew I was attracted to the same sex when I was seven — in some capacity, anyway. I don’t think it’s physiologically possible to truly feel sexual attraction at such a young age. But I knew there was a drawing in me toward the same gender – and drawing that was more than what some would say is “natural” or “normal.”

As I grew up in a rural Louisiana town and teenage hormones began to surge throughout my body, my drawing toward the same gender intensified — sexually and emotionally. While I was definitely not engulfed in the life of a church during my adolescence, I was raised in close enough proximity to religious things – and religious people – that I knew the Bible referenced to homosexuality as an abominable thing.

This seems to be a common claim among those who have same sex attraction (SSA), that they believe that they realized that at an early age they were sexually attracted to people of the same sex. I don’t doubt the claim, but I do realize that, according to research, that often the feelings are precipitated by either abuse or some such experience and that only with reinforcement does the feeling grow.

But let’s allow Matt to continue as he talks about his realization,

Firstly, when I grew up pleading with God to make me straight, I had no real interest in God Himself. I wasn’t praying for God to do this because I loved Him or wanted to live my life for Him. I was actually pretty unconcerned about Him, to be honest. I wanted God to take away my same sex desires for my own benefit – so that I could fit in, be normal, be one of the guys, and even so that I could just have sex with girls like all my friends were. So I obviously wasn’t worried about being sexually moral. I just wanted to be sexually normal. I wanted to be what I was supposed to be.

Notice his admission,

…, I had no real interest in God Himself. I wasn’t praying for God to do this because I loved Him or wanted to live my life for Him. I was actually pretty unconcerned about Him, to be honest. I wanted God to take away my same sex desires for my own benefit…

How many of us pray for things, not because of a desire to grow closer to our Maker and Sustainer, but simply because we don’t want an inconvenience? I would imagine that it happens entirely too often.

This is another point that you hear about: praying for God to take something away rather than focusing on God. Paul actually makes mention of this in his Second Epistle to the Corinthians,

(…)Therefore, so that I would not become arrogant, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to trouble me – so that I would not become arrogant. I asked the Lord three times about this, that it would depart from me. But he said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. (12:7-9 NET, emphasis mine)

Because Paul doesn’t tell us exactly what his “thorn” is, there is so much speculation about what it is exactly (from loneliness, to migraines, to incontinence) I believe that it is a gift of God’s Spirit that it’s not named so that anyone can place their own “thorn” there and say, “Lord, your grace is sufficient, so I will obey you.”

Anyway, it’s a great article, check it out.



  1. Your God is so unfeeling that he looks down on a person tortured with an identity they feel to be part of the essence of who they are, and refuses to “cure” them because they aren’t praying right? Wow…. (Quick note: I’m rather glad that hasn’t happen, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being gay.) But the thought that being gay would be so very reprehensible to God, yet He would do absolutely nothing when asked to use His divine power to remove it is…awful, quite frankly.

    • He’s “so unfeeling” that he, in the person of his Son, in the man Jesus, condescended from his position to live as a human being, to be confronted by every temptation that we are, and yet did not yield to them, so that at the fulfillment of his task he would be a perfect high priest, fully acquainted with our state. What you have done is limited a person’s identity to how they “feel”, a state which is the MOST temporal part of our existence, because they change so quickly, and are the most easily deceived. The regenerate person understands that fact because he is prone to reflecting upon his state as a creature made for a purpose that exceeds his emotions.
      As for the question of prayer, that’s Matt’s argument, and it is absolutely true: they aren’t praying for the right thing. It’s no different than a man praying for deliverance from a destructive gambling habit, or a propensity to stop cheating on his wife: he knows the commands and judgments of God and either works in faith toward the end of purging the evil by metaphorically “plucking out the offending eye” or “cutting off the offending member” because they are killing him, and he knows it. As long as a man is treading water there is hope of rescue, however, a dead man sinks beneath the waves to never be seen again. The difference is how they perceive their condition.

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