Hey everyone. I found an article this morning that I thought was worth sharing from Matt Barber’s website “BarbWire” titled, “For Years I Pleaded With God to Make Me Straight. Why Did My Prayers Go Unanswered?” Let me preview the article for you.
The author, Matt Moore, begins his story,
I knew I was attracted to the same sex when I was seven — in some capacity, anyway. I don’t think it’s physiologically possible to truly feel sexual attraction at such a young age. But I knew there was a drawing in me toward the same gender – and drawing that was more than what some would say is “natural” or “normal.”
As I grew up in a rural Louisiana town and teenage hormones began to surge throughout my body, my drawing toward the same gender intensified — sexually and emotionally. While I was definitely not engulfed in the life of a church during my adolescence, I was raised in close enough proximity to religious things – and religious people – that I knew the Bible referenced to homosexuality as an abominable thing.
This seems to be a common claim among those who have same sex attraction (SSA), that they believe that they realized that at an early age they were sexually attracted to people of the same sex. I don’t doubt the claim, but I do realize that, according to research, that often the feelings are precipitated by either abuse or some such experience and that only with reinforcement does the feeling grow.
But let’s allow Matt to continue as he talks about his realization,
Firstly, when I grew up pleading with God to make me straight, I had no real interest in God Himself. I wasn’t praying for God to do this because I loved Him or wanted to live my life for Him. I was actually pretty unconcerned about Him, to be honest. I wanted God to take away my same sex desires for my own benefit – so that I could fit in, be normal, be one of the guys, and even so that I could just have sex with girls like all my friends were. So I obviously wasn’t worried about being sexually moral. I just wanted to be sexually normal. I wanted to be what I was supposed to be.
Notice his admission,
…, I had no real interest in God Himself. I wasn’t praying for God to do this because I loved Him or wanted to live my life for Him. I was actually pretty unconcerned about Him, to be honest. I wanted God to take away my same sex desires for my own benefit…
How many of us pray for things, not because of a desire to grow closer to our Maker and Sustainer, but simply because we don’t want an inconvenience? I would imagine that it happens entirely too often.
This is another point that you hear about: praying for God to take something away rather than focusing on God. Paul actually makes mention of this in his Second Epistle to the Corinthians,
(…)Therefore, so that I would not become arrogant, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to trouble me – so that I would not become arrogant. I asked the Lord three times about this, that it would depart from me. But he said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. (12:7-9 NET, emphasis mine)
Because Paul doesn’t tell us exactly what his “thorn” is, there is so much speculation about what it is exactly (from loneliness, to migraines, to incontinence) I believe that it is a gift of God’s Spirit that it’s not named so that anyone can place their own “thorn” there and say, “Lord, your grace is sufficient, so I will obey you.”
Anyway, it’s a great article, check it out.